Marriage God's Way: A Husband's Love, Part D

Ephesians 5:28-33

Marriage God’s Way:  A Husband’s Love, Part D

 

            Our study for the last 7 weeks has been titled, “Marriage God’s Way”.  And today we move into our fourth and final week in studying a husband’s love.  When we do marriage God’s way, we love our wives.  What does our love look like?  First of all, our love makes us lead our wives (v22-24).  Second, our love produces sacrifice for them (v25).  Last week we saw that our love as husbands is to promote the spiritual growth of our wives (v26-27).  Finally, today, we are going to see that our love as husbands is to provide for her sustenance.  Our love must make us provide for her sustenance. 

 

What does that mean?  It means that because we love her we provide her with everything she needs to prosper.  It means that we provide and protect and care for her in every way so that she lacks nothing.  It means that because of our love, she is healthy emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  In short it means that she is better off because she is married to us.  In every way we should provide for her. 

 

A Husband and Wife are Powerfully United           

First of all, in order for a husband to provide for his wife’s sustenance, he must see that he and his wife are powerfully united.  He is one with her and she is one with him.  He is her head, and, she is his body.  Notice verses 28-29 (read)… and then Paul quotes Genesis in verse 31, “….” (read).  In Matthew 19:6, our Lord Jesus commented on this same Genesis verse, “They [male & female] are no longer 2, but, one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  A husband and wife are powerfully united. 

 

Now, this union brings about a certain relationship where we as husbands are to treat our wives like our own bodies.  We have to see them as part of ourselves, because they are!  We are no longer 2, but, 1 together with them.  Let me point out from the text here that there are 2 reasons why we are to see her and treat her as our own bodies.

 

            #1:  We are to see our wives as our bodies first because of Creation.  In verse 31, Paul is quoting Genesis 2:24.  Let’s turn to Genesis 2:20-25 and see why creation has anything to do with our wives being our bodies (read).  Notice that she did not come from the ground, nor did she come from the animal kingdom.  She came from the man.  It says that the Lord used part of Adam’s side as the material for creating the woman.  Then Adam, thoroughly impressed with his new babe says, “This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh…she was taken out of man.”  She was made physically from his body to become his body relationally.  Woman came from the man for the man.  Even though they are two separate individuals, the idea is that they are now so intimately united in marriage they are one flesh.  A husband is to see his wife as part of his own body because of creation.

 

            #2:  The second reason we are to see our wife as our own bodies is because of Christ.  Christ is the Head of the Church, and, the Church is His Body.  The husband is the head of the wife (v23), and Paul says the husband is to treat his wife like he would his own body. 

 

Paul also says in verse 31 that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.  Jesus Christ left His Father’s side in heaven and came down to purchase His Bride with His own blood so as to permanently unite Her to Himself.  Who is His Bride?  We are.  We as believers form the community that collectively is called the Body of Christ.  We are permanently connected to/ joined to/ united to Jesus Christ – our Head, our Husband.  For this reason, we are supposed to view our wives as our own bodies, members together – one flesh. 

 

A husband who loves his wife will provide for her sustenance. 

 

This can be applied in several ways.

 

First, feed and care for her.  Paul says in verses 28 and 29 again, “In this same way a husband ought to love his wife as his own body.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it…”  We look out for our own bodies by feeding them.  We don’t starve our bodies, we give them food.  My wife pokes my side and points out how I’m feeding my body a little more these days.  I eat the things I want to eat.  I’m not starving – not by a long shot.  My body gets good treatment from me.  We not only feed ourselves, but, we care for our own bodies.  We get cleaned up by shaving and showering and brushing our teeth.  We go to the doctor.  We minimize pain.  Perhaps we workout.  But all in all, everybody takes care of his or her body.

 

The point Paul is getting at here is that it is natural.  It is natural that we take care of ourselves.  And what he is saying is that a husband’s love means he cares for and feeds his wife with his love.  Don’t starve her.  Too often we leave our wives malnourished.  They go hungry.  We don’t give them a steady diet of our love and they wither for it.  But a husband ought to love his wife as he does his own body.  The same care and attention he gives to his body is the same care and attention he should give to his wife. 

 

            Second, we need to protect her.  We need to protect her from harm.  We keep her from pain and injury.  We should eagerly take on the role of her strong-tower, her fortress and shield.  She has to know that she’s not left to defend herself; she’s not left without the protection of her man.  She should know that when she comes to you she is coming to safety.  That may mean from physical harm, but, more often it may mean other things.  She may need your support in the face of unfair and hurtful criticism.  Or she may need to know that you are her refuge when she comes with her weaknesses.  Her insecurities should have no safer place than with you.  She needs to have confidence that you won’t judge her or abandon her for her secrets, her hurts, her feelings, her past, her insecurities.  The price of that kind of confidence isn’t paid with money, it’s paid for with love.  With you she finds sincere encouragement, unconditional love, and a man who is unafraid to love her.  When she needs that picture of Christ’s love for her she can turn to you.  You know that Romans 8:35-39 kind of love…  A husband loves his wife by providing for her sustenance.  He does that by protecting her.

 

            Thirdly, he cares for her by making her look good.  We put effort into making our bodies look good – either by working out, the kinds of clothes we wear, shaving, etc.  But, one way to provide for her is to be intentional about making her look good.  Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Pastor, I am not putting her make-up on her.  I am not filing and painting her nails.  I’m not doing her hair before she goes out.  And I am NOT shopping for her clothes!” 

 

Relax!  What I mean when I say make her look good is how well you make her look in the eyes of other people.  Talk her up in front of others, don’t talk her down.  When you speak of your wife put her in a good light.  Paul says in verse 29, “no one ever hated his own body..” so don’t hate your wife.  Honor her in front of others.  I spoke a couple of weeks ago about husbands respecting their wives.  I pointed out that we should respect her both publicly and privately.  In other words, do not put your wife down, talk down about her, disrespect her, or be dismissive of her in front of others.  Instead, make her look good.  If other people’s view of your wife depends on the way you talk about her, what do others see her like?  Romans 12:10 says, “Honor one another above yourselves”.  That’s great marriage counsel.  It’s so good Philippians 2:3 says it too, “in humility consider others better than yourselves.”  Honor her above yourself.  Consider her better than yourself.  That’s excellent marriage advice. 

 

Making Known the Mystery (v32-33)

            The last point I want to make comes from the last verses in the chapter, verses 32-33.  Paul says, “…”  The point here is that marriages are to make known the mystery.

 

What is a mystery?  Paul doesn’t mean that marriage is mysterious.  A mystery in the Bible means something that was unknown in the past, but, is now revealed. 

 

If that is what a mystery is, what is the mystery Paul is talking about here?  Paul is saying that the mystery that is now made known is that human marriage is patterned on the marriage between Christ and the Church.  Paul said in chapter 3 that the mystery that was revealed to him was the mystery of Christ.  Christ wasn’t known about in the past, but, now He has been made known.  But Paul says there is more to the mystery.  He says in 3:6, “This mystery is that through the Gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promises of Christ Jesus.”  It was not known in the past that God had such plans for the Gentiles, but, now it has been revealed.  The mystery involves the inclusion of the Gentiles into God’s salvation plans.  And as Gentiles are saved they are made to be part of the community that is eternally joined to Christ.  That community is called the Church.  That community is also called the Bride of Jesus Christ.

 

            What does this mean for us in our marriages today?  It means that marriage has existed a long time before Christ came into the world.  But what is now revealed is that human marriage has always been based on Christ and His marriage to the Church.  What does this mean for us?  It means that our marriages are serving a greater purpose than our own desires.  Marriage is for the purpose of making Christ known.  He is no longer a mystery.  He is revealed.  Our marriages is where we should be revealing Christ to each other. 

 

And so, with that Paul ends with a summary statement to both the husband and the wife.  Husbands love your wives as you love yourselves.  Wives, respect your husbands.

 

Conclusion:

If much of what has been preached these last 6 weeks is going on in your home then wonderful.  Perhaps you would be willing to adopt a younger couple and mentor them.  We need that more in the church.  We need the experience and wisdom of older saints who can invest in the generations coming up behind them. 

 

On the other hand, maybe you’re like me you’ve been convicted by the preacher’s preaching.  Maybe you’ve thought to yourself, “I know that is something I should start doing better at.”  The question before us is this:  Will our convictions translate into action?  Will we go out of here today and come back the same next week, or, will we be different?  What would happen to your marriage if you and your wife began to do the things mentioned in this series?  What if we had some real heartfelt changes take place?  I pray that you and your wife are talking more about your marriage, about God’s word, and how to grow.  Don’t stay where you are.