#1:
We must Remember our Debt when Forgiving the Debt of Others (v19)
Notice first of all that we must
Remember our own debt when forgiving the debt of others. Paul says in verse 19, “I, Paul, am writing this with my
own hand. I will pay it back – not to
mention that you owe me your very self.” Almost parenthetically Paul reminds Philemon
that he was in debt to Paul. It’s the
only place in the letter where Paul “twists the arm” a little. Even then, I think it is not to manipulate
Philemon, but, to call to attention one very important aspect of forgiveness: remembering our own debt. It raises up the idea of our obligation to
forgive as Christians. On the one hand
we are commanded to forgive, as we see in Colossians 3:13, “Forgive whatever
grievances you have.” But on the other
hand we are bound to forgive because we ourselves have been forgiven. Or simply put: we cancel the debt of others because we know
our own debt has been forgiven.
The parable of the unforgiving servant illustrates for us the
principle that when it comes to forgiving others we ought to remember the debt
we’ve been forgiven. If you turn with me
to Matthew 18:23-33. You can see here
that this servant acted in an awful way, but, what made it particularly awful
was that he was unwilling to extend to someone else what was extended to
him: forgiveness. When someone owed him a debt he did not stop
to consider how his own debt had been cancelled. Such hypocrisy causes us to cringe, yet, we
must ask, are we guilty of the same kind of hypocrisy?
Now, of course in this situation with Philemon, it was not Paul
who had forgiven Philemon for his sins – it was Jesus Christ. But the message of forgiveness, the Gospel of
Jesus Christ, the opportunity for Philemon to hear and believe in the Lord,
came about because of Paul’s preaching.
And because Philemon had eternally benefited from Paul’s ministry there
was a certain kind of obligation he had to Paul.
In other words, when Paul says, “not to mention you owe me your
very self” he is reminding Philemon that it was because of his
preaching that he was converted to Christ.
So what someone might say. There
is a certain debt we have to those who have led us to Christ.
We see this principle throughout Scripture, that those who lead us
to Christ are owed a debt. It is
appropriate before God to honor those who led us to Christ. For instance, in Romans 15:27 Paul is
describing his collection from the Gentile Churches which is to be brought to
the Jewish Church in Jerusalem. In
describing the eagerness of the Gentile churches he says in verse 27, “They
were pleased to do it, and indeed they owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have shared in the Jews’
spiritual blessings, they owe it to the Jews to share with them their material
blessings.” In other words, the
Gentile churches were in a sense obligated to share financially with the Jewish
church because it was from them that the message of salvation came to
them. The blessings in Christ were
opened up to the Gentiles because of these Jewish Christians.
This principle – giving back materially to those who bless us
spiritually – is seen elsewhere. It is
not only those who lead us to Christ, but, also those who lead us in Christ who
are owed a debt. In 1 Corinthians
9:11-14 Paul explains the godly principle of financially supporting pastors,
missionaries and evangelists for their work.
[Read]
How does this relate to Philemon?
Well Paul isn’t saying Philemon owed him money. But he owed him nonetheless. Philemon was introduced to the message of
Christ and salvation and all the blessings of the Gospel by Paul. And just as the Gentile churches owed the
Jewish church for the same thing, and just as the churches owed it to their
leaders for the same thing, there was a certain obligation upon Philemon to
hear what Paul was saying and do it.
Now, again, Paul never not even once uses his authority. He wants the decision to completely be
Philemon’s. What he is doing is offering
to Philemon still another motivation in forgiveness: remembering your debt. He very well could have told Philemon here to
refer to Colossians 3:13, “Forgive whatever grievances you have against
one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave
you.”
The debt we still owe is the debt to love.
#2:
We must see Forgiveness has a Refreshing Effect on the Church (v20)
Next we see the point that
Forgiveness has a Refreshing Effect on the Church. Verse 20 says, “I do wish, brother, that I may
have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.” It was said in verse 7 that Philemon was a
man who refreshed others. Here he was
finding himself in a position to refresh even the Apostle Paul. Let me point out 2 very important points.
First, when the church witnesses one Christian forgive another it
refreshes the church. We can certainly
see how Onesimus would have been refreshed by Philemon’s forgiveness. We can see though here that Paul was looking
to be refreshed as he looked upon Philemon’s granting of forgiveness. I want to extrapolate that out even further
and say that the whole church meeting in Philemon’s house would have been
refreshed to see Philemon extend grace to the young man.
We must never underestimate how conflict between two people
inflicts the whole church with distress.
For instance, in Philippi, Paul wasn’t even there but he was grieved
over two women who weren’t getting along.
Turn there with me and let’s read [Read]. In Philippians 4:2-3 he appeals to them to
come to agreement and put the issue to rest.
So long as they fought with each other everyone around was going to be burdened.
But, if they were to reconcile it would bring a great relief to
everyone, and the whole church would be refreshed. So just as bickering, fighting, grumbling and
so forth weigh the church down, so on the other hand, when we see grace and
forgiveness prevail it refreshes us as Christians.
Second, we must see ourselves in need of what others have. Paul comes across here in a way that seems to
say, “I need you to do this for my heart.” It was a tremendous burden on Paul I
imagine. This is a direct appeal from
his heart here. On the one hand Paul is
a man who considers himself a father to the young man he is pleading for, and
on the other hand he is appealing to a man whom he considers a dear and beloved
friend. He is mediating between two men
whom he has a great deal of affection for.
He is deeply concerned over the state of the relationship between these
two men he loves. And Paul is not
ashamed to tell Philemon that his own heart is tied up in this so much that in
order for it to be at peace he needs Philemon to do this.
Here is yet another dimension of the interdependency we have with
each other as Christians. We are each
given spiritual gifts to use for building others up in their faith. That means others need what I have and I need
what others have. We need each
other. Paul not only taught this but
practiced it. He wasn’t too proud to ask
for prayer (Eph. 6:19), to ask for edification (Rom 1:12), to ask for support
(….), to ask for a room (Philemon 22) –
he even outright argued for his churches to respect him (2 Cor. 10-13). Paul was not just accepting of blessings from
others, but, he desired to be blessed by others. That is so hard for us to get our minds
around as Americans today.
Illustration: I remember when Evan was going to be born and
someone wanted to give us a crib. They
wanted to bless us, but, it was taking them a few more days than expected to
get it from someone else who had it so they could give it to us. After awhile I said to the person, “Hey, I
don’t want you to feel like you have to go through all this to get this for us. We’ll just go ahead and get another
one.” On the one hand it was hard for me
to accept a free gift, and, on the other hand I didn’t want that person to have
to go through all that trouble to give it to us. This person’s response stopped me in my
tracks and opened up to me a whole new way of looking at gifts. She said, “Pastor, it isn’t any trouble for us at all, please don’t go get a
different one. If you do you will take
away our chance to bless you. You need
to let us bless you.” I am 5’10” or
11” inches tall, depending on which gas station attendant is describing me, but
in that moment, I felt 2” tall. Our Lord
let Himself be blessed by others. Paul
sought to be blessed by others. Why do I
act so proud when others want to bless me and try to dissuade them from doing
that?
Blessings come in material ways like food, money, random acts of
kindness. They come in immaterial ways
too: encouraging words, in prayer for
one another, sharing the word of God and so on.
And as we see here in verse 20, blessings come when we see grace prevail
in the Body of Christ, when Christians forgive one another, and let the peace
of Christ rule in their hearts, so that peace can prevail in the whole
Body. Forgiveness refreshes the whole
church.
#3:
We must develop a Reputation where others can be Confident in us (v21)
We must develop a Reputation where
others can be confident in us. Notice
verse 21, “…..” Don’t miss the
confidence Paul had in Philemon. This
wasn’t a backhanded way of forcing him into forgiving. This was a genuine confidence Paul had in
Philemon. How could he have that kind of
confidence? Paul could have that
confidence because Philemon had that kind of reputation. Remember verse 4-7 [Read]. Philemon was the kind of Christian that other
Christians could look to for modeling what is right in the Lord. He was known for that.
Paul leveraged his own reputation in
his ministry. He is often times telling
people to look at his own example, his own conduct, his own reputation that his
readers knew about and he was calling them to emulate him. In other words he wanted them to develop the
same kind of reputation that he had as a Christian and a servant of the Lord.
What is our reputation with
others? Can others look to us for the
right example? Do we have this
reputation with outsiders, as Paul asks in Titus and Peter asks in his
letters? Husbands do we have this kind
of reputation with our wives? Parents do
we have this kind of reputation with our children? Deacons do you have this reputation with the
church? And yes, the pastor has to ask
himself, and be working to have this kind of reputation with the church. Do we have a reputation with others where
they know they can look to us with confidence to do what is right?
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