How happy would we be if in life no one ever said or did anything
to offend or injure us? If in life
everyone else were in continuous harmony with our happiness and goodwill for
all our lives how different would our lives be?
But we don’t live in such a state in this life. We get disappointed. We get hurt.
We get let down. We have in the
past, and, we will again in the future experience the bitter feelings towards
others who harm us.
How much do you think about forgiving someone ahead of time? In other words, have you ever prepared
yourself to forgive before the time to forgive came about? I wonder if Paul lived knowing there were going
to be more times before he died that he would be faced with forgiving someone
for causing him harm.
Why do you ask, Pastor?
Because there was a man on Paul’s team, listed at the end of this letter
to Philemon, who was serving alongside of Paul, but in less than 2 years he was
going to walk out on Paul. Like Mark did
about 15 years earlier, this man was going to leave Paul hanging when Paul
needed him. Who was that man? His name was Demas. Last week we looked at
Mark, a man who had failed Paul in the past.
This week we are looking at Demas, a man who was going to fail Paul in
the future. And it is with this
realization that we word our sermon title:
Preparing to Forgive.
Demas:
Prepare to Forgive
We do not know a whole lot about
Demas as he is only mentioned 3 times in Scripture. His name means “governor of the people”. He may have been from Thessalonica if 2
Timothy 4:10 is any implication. But
when we first learn of Demas he is with Paul in Rome during Paul’s first Roman
imprisonment. It is during this time,
around 63AD, that Paul writes Ephesians, Colossians, Philippians, and this
letter to Philemon. Together they are
known as the “Prison Letters”.
When Demas is mentioned in Colossians 4:14 Paul doesn’t tell us
anything about him except that he sends greetings to the Colossian church. In Philemon Paul again mentions Demas and
mentions him along with Luke as fellow workers.
That of course was no meaningless ascription from Paul. If he called you a fellow worker it meant he
considered your work for Jesus Christ and the Gospel to be worthy of
honor. If he called you a fellow worker
it meant he considered you to be someone working alongside him for the same
cause and with the same devotion - and Paul was not easy to keep up with. Philemon was a fellow worker in verse 1 –
which endeared him to Paul’s heart.
But where Demas is most remembered is in Paul’s 2nd
letter to Timothy, in 2 Timothy 4:10.
Much like the Apostle Thomas has been remembered throughout church
history for his doubt, Demas is probably remembered mostly for his
defection. About 2 years after calling
Demas a “fellow worker”, listen as Paul, spending his last days in a Roman
imprisonment, informs Timothy of the direction Demas has gone: “Come to me quickly Timothy, for Demas,
because he loved this world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica.” The Greek word for deserted means to leave
someone in the lurch, to abandon, to walk out at the most inappropriate time
Now Paul was not unfamiliar with being deserted. Starting with Mark, Paul has been stung many
times by believers who served alongside him.
He began this letter mentioning being alone - in 2 Timothy 1:15 he said,
“You
know, Timothy, that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including
Phygelus and Hermogenes.” The
province of Asia included the Ephesians and the Colossians by the way. Of course, betrayal and abandonment seem to
be common to NT ministries and Paul would no doubt understand these are part of
the sufferings of serving Christ. After
all, Jesus Himself was betrayed by Judas and even all the rest of the disciples
deserted Him in His most important hour – the hour of His death. Now, here too was Paul about to be killed by
the Roman government and one of his closest companions who has served at his
side for several years and no doubt someone Paul mentored, up and quits on
him. Maybe Demas saw the writing on the
wall and knew he was going to lose his life too if he stayed with Paul. Who knows?
Paul has dealt with defection before, he was dealing with it then,
and in a particular way he was stung by Demas’ desertion. Notice what he says was Demas’ motivation for
leaving: “…because he loved this world…” We need to look at that a moment because
through Paul the Holy Spirit is pointing out to us a very important area where
as Christians we need to pay attention.
It is the area of the world.
Demas’ love for the world grew enough to the point of his abandoning the
ministry. Here’s what we need to take to
heart ourselves:
First, you cannot love the world and serve God. They are mutually exclusive. As a matter of fact, loving the world makes
you an enemy of God. James 4:4 says, “You
adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred
towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a
friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” Furthermore, James goes on to say that loving
the world arouses the jealousy of God, and you put yourself in danger when you
do that. Listen to verse 5, “Or do
you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us
envies intensely?” You cannot
love the world and love God. You cannot
run after the world and run for God. You
must choose. Don’t be a Demas.
Second, we need to be careful that we are not seduced by the
world. Notice that it wasn’t the
persecution that caused Demas to quit.
He wasn’t afraid of the hardships and the attacks and the opposition in
the ministry – that isn’t what it says that made him leave. His problem was different than fear - but his
kind of problem was just as crippling to a believer: he let his heart long for the things of this
world. Demas could handle being struck in
the face for Jesus Christ, but, couldn’t handle being seduced away from
Him. He loved what the world
offered. He loved what he could get from
the world. And so his attraction to the world
grew more and more causing his attraction to Jesus diminished. That is always the case. When you love the world you don’t love
God. First John 2:15 is blunt, “Do
not love the world or anything in the world.
If anyone loves the world the love of the Father is not in him.”
As Paul watched Demas go Paul must have been particularly
disappointed. Paul spoke of the
surpassing greatness of knowing Christ to the Philippians. There is nothing compared to Jesus
Christ. There is nothing here on earth
in this world that can match Him. He
truly is matchless. I love what Nate
prayed in Wednesday morning prayer a couple weeks back, “Christ exceeds everything the world has to offer.”
I’m sure Paul wish Demas would have believed that.
Thirdly, any of us are capable of doing what Demas did.
Where is all this leading to?
Well, as we read Paul’s letter to Philemon we realize what’s coming down
the road in Paul’s life. He is going to
be abandoned by someone close to him.
Was he going to be ready to forgive?
That’s our point today: we need
to be ready to forgive. We need to prepare
ourselves with the realization that there will come times when we need to
extend forgiveness to someone. People
will fail us, hurt us, disappoint us, let us down and cause us frustration.
We need to exercise some caution here though: This does not mean we become cynical. This does not mean we expect everyone to
always let us down. I know this
contradicts what I just said, but, I’m comfortable making this contradiction. We understand people are sinners but let us
not live waiting for them to sin. Love
hopes for the best. I would rather hope
for the best and be hurt by someone’s failure, instead of expecting the worst
all the time and being surprised when someone comes through.
Expect that you will have to give forgiveness someday. But don’t let that make you live
cynically.
Conclusion: The Possibility of Forgiveness
Let’s just conclude with this
point: The Possibility of
Forgiveness. When I say Possibility, I
am not referring to the potential that someone might grant forgiveness. When I say the Possibility of Forgiveness I
am referring to the possibilities that arise in someone’s life when forgiveness
is granted. There is the possibility of fellowship being
restored between two people who were against each other. There is the possibility of the forgiver and
the forgiven to flourish in their faith once guilt and bitterness are
removed. There is the possibility to excel
in service to Jesus Christ with peace and unity between believers restored.
That is what happened in Mark’s
life. He started out badly, but ended
wonderfully. His is a picture of the
God-glorifying possibilities that come from forgiveness. We should not miss the power of forgiveness
in restoring someone to a life of glorifying God and serving Jesus Christ.
But, what happened to Onesimus, the man for whom this letter was
written in the first place? What
happened to him? We may have a hint coming
from a letter written about 50 years later.
While on his way from Smyrna to Rome in order to be martyred, the church
Father Ignatius wrote a letter to the Ephesian church. He never met the congregation in Ephesus,
but, he met their pastor. Listen to what
he says to this church he has never met regarding their pastor, “I received your large congregation in the
person of Onesimus, your pastor, a man whose love is beyond words.”
Was this the same Onesimus in Paul’s letter to Philemon from 50
years earlier? If so what a remarkable
turnout for a man who started as a runaway slave but ended as a faithful
servant of the Lord. And if it was the
same Onesimus then does this indicate to us that Philemon did forgive him? And in forgiving him did he free him from
slavery so he could go and serve Jesus Christ – perhaps returning to Paul’s
side and eventually leading the church in Ephesus?
This whole letter is a letter about love, love expressed in
forgiveness. Could it be that the love
beyond words Ignatius experienced from Onesimus was the love that was
demonstrated to him so long ago from his master Philemon? If so, then it shows us the incredible
possibilities that can come from forgiveness.
And furthermore, Paul’s very last words to Philemon were the perfect
ending to a letter on forgiveness: “The
grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.” With the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ with
Philemon’s spirit, he would be able to extend grace to Onesimus. With the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ with
us, we too will be able to extend grace through forgiveness to others.
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