Forgiveness Results in a New Relationship (v16)
Notice
in verse 16 and 17 how Forgiveness leads to a new Relationship, “….” When someone becomes a new creation in
Christ, it results in a new relationship.
God now has a new relationship with them. He relates to them on the basis of the
sacrifice of Jesus Christ and no longer on the basis of their sin. He now has peace towards them, no longer
wrath. He is now their heavenly Father,
no longer their enemy.
This
teaches us that when we forgive someone, like God, we begin to relate differently
to that person. Our disposition and
attitude towards them is changed. In
light of Paul’s words to Philemon, let me offer several points about this
change.
First, when we
forgive someone it results in unity with them. Notice how Paul repeats
the endearing words “dear” and “brother” when referring to Onesimus in verses
16-17, “…” Remember that Paul referred
to Philemon earlier as a “dear friend” (v2) and as a “brother”
(v7). Now the same words used to
describe Philemon he was using to describe Onesimus. I believe Philemon would have picked up on
this. Paul wanted Philemon to see
Onesimus as being on the inside now, he was one of them. He was accepted by the Lord, by Paul, and now
the hope was that he would be accepted by Philemon as a dear brother.
One the most
outstanding proofs of the supernatural power of the Gospel is that it unites
people who otherwise should have nothing to do with each other. There are many reasons people divide with
each other, but, Jesus Christ unites those who otherwise would be divided. Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek,
slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Colossians 3:11 says, “Here there is no Greek nor Jew,
circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian or Scythian, slave or free, but Christ
is all, and is in all.” And 1
Corinthians 12:13 says, “For we were all baptized by one Spirit into
one body – whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free – and we were all given the
one Spirit to drink.” Ephesians
2:14 says, “For Jesus Christ Himself is our peace, He has made the two one and has
destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.”
The idea in the
NT is that when people have Jesus Christ in common nothing else should divide
them. Distinctions like race, gender and
social status are not denied. The point
of these passages is that unity across these differences is achieved by a
commonality that transcends these human differences. There is no greater common bond between two
people than Jesus Christ. He transcends
race, age, social standing, education, gender, and even as in the case of
Philemon and Onesimus, He transcends grievances between two people. He is the reason we don’t let these things
divide us.
Forgiveness
results in a new attitude towards an offender, a new relationship, and a new
way of seeing them. Let me illustrate:
Illustration:
The other day I was driving along at the speed limit when someone cut me
off. My initial reaction was something
like, “Who does this guy think he
is? Man, if I still had the super-Kia I
would show him a thing or two!” But
then I noticed something in his back window that changed my whole attitude - it
was an Old English “D”. All of a sudden
his sinful driving wasn’t as important and my harsh feelings changed. He was a Tigers fan. I am a Tigers fan. He and I, together, love the Detroit
Tigers. All of a sudden I was not
relating to this guy based on what he did to offend me, but, I was relating to
him based on something he had in common with me: Detroit baseball. And because of what we had in common, I was
willing to overlook his vehicular offense.
Onesimus wasn’t
to be seen as a “thief” and a “fugitive” and a “criminal” anymore. Instead, he was to be regarded as a “dear
brother”. Philemon was no longer to
relate to Onesimus based on what he did to offend him, but, now he was to
relate to Onesimus based on what they both had in common. If Philemon began to look at that, then he
would begin to overlook what on see Onesimus as more than a slave, and now an
equal in Christ, a brother who shared the same grace as he in Christ. He was to treat him as one who was an heir
along with him in Christ, as someone who called on the same Father in heaven,
and as another laborer in the work of the Gospel. The same forgiveness and favor with which the
Lord gave Onesimus was now the forgiveness and favor Philemon was to extend.
But don’t forget
the other side of this coin too: Onesimus
was to see Philemon differently. That is
the other side of this relationship that is important for us to see as
well. Before Onesimus viewed Philemon as
a master to get away from. Now as a
fellow Christian he would serve his master even more faithfully. Turn with me to 1 Timothy 6:1-2. These are some words that Paul no doubt had
repeated to Onesimus when he taught him what his responsibility as a slave was
to his Christian master. [Read]
Onesimus was
returning to do the same thing he used to do but with a different heart. That’s the power of Jesus Christ. Some people think they need new things, a new
location, a new person in their lives and all sorts of other things. What they need is a new life in Christ a new
life that only Christ can give. The
things around us don’t need to change, the thing inside of us does – our heart.
These are
insights for how to handle forgiveness between Christians. What about non-Christians? What if I have a grievance with someone who
is not a Christian and therefore we don’t have all that stuff in common? Giving forgiveness is still the thing to
do.
First of all, giving
forgiveness is not something that the Bible says is only done between
Christians.
Secondly, showing
someone else grace and forgiveness shows that you know the grace of God and His
forgiveness. He has forgiven you and now
you are forgiving them.
Thirdly, forgiving
a non-Christian is an excellent opportunity to share with them the Gospel. Let them experience the freedom that comes
with forgiveness and explain to them their need for forgiveness from God in
Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness
results in unity.
Secondly, when we
forgive someone we should rejoice in their repentance.
Repentance is an occasion for rejoicing.
Paul doesn’t say it directly, but, clearly he has rejoiced over Onesimus
repentance and clearly he was urging Philemon to do the same. In Luke 15:9 Jesus says, “I
tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one
sinner who repents.” When
someone repents they are turning from evil to righteousness. They are turning to God rather than away from
God. They are stepping from the darkness
into the light. They are turning from
their way and instead turning to God’s way.
This rejoicing that happens is a rejoicing in the decision this person
has made to turn to what is good and right and just. This is cause for celebration.
Of course, what
if they don’t repent? Are we still
called upon to forgive? Yes. They may never come and admit their
wrongdoing, but, we are to cancel that wrong from their record. Can anyone honestly say the Lord tells us not
to forgive? We should expunge the crime
from their record so that if they ever do come and admit what they did they can
see that we have a long time ago forgiven them and have not been holding their
sin against them.
By waiting until
the person comes in repentance before we forgive we have two problems. First there is the problem of our refusal to
grant forgiveness to them. We refuse to
forgive them in our hearts.
Unforgiveness is never condoned in Scripture.
Secondly, so long
as we don’t forgive them, there is the problem of our frustration and
bitterness that they still have not come to admit their wrong to us. We still charge them for their sin against us
and the longer we wait for them to admit it the more our resentment grows
towards them. This leads to what Hebrews
says is “a bitter root growing in our hearts”.
This growing
resentment can all be avoided by forgiving them. They don’t need to “be there” for that. The way to do it is to put blisters on your
knees as you pray to God to help you forgive them the way He wants you to. Do not stop praying until your heart has
changed towards that person and you have forgiven them and your disposition
towards them has been transformed.
Third, we should
remember that no one is beyond God’s reach. This ties into last
week’s point about the sovereignty and providence of God. I’m sure Philemon had no idea that things
were going to turn out this way. I’m
sure he never imagined his runaway slave returning to him as a new man – a
fellow Christian.
No one is beyond
reach. No one. Is there someone in your life beyond your
reach? They may be beyond your reach,
but, they are not beyond God’s. First
Timothy 1:15-16 says it so well. No one
is beyond reach. First Corinthians
6:9-11 says it so well too. That is what
some of those people used to be. Praise
God no one is beyond reach. All they
have to do is reach out to God and they will find Him. God’s work in Onesimus’ life is a great
reminder and encouragement to us that even the unreachable are within
reach.
Conclusion:
Forgiveness
results in a new relationship. A new
relationship with God when He forgives us our sins. But, also when we forgive others it
transforms our relationship with them – for the better. And I would add this: forgiving others strengthens our relationship
with the Lord.
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