Forgiving for the Gospel, Part 2 (Philemon v2)

Turn to 2 Corinthians 2.  While you are turning there I will tell you a story.  Illustration:  It was a different Sunday than usual.  The leaders stood up and rather than a sermon that morning they read a lengthy letter to all of us in the church.  Nobody made a sound as every ear heard every word that the leaders read out loud.  Even the babies were quiet.  There had been trouble in our church – big troubles.  Some of us didn’t know what we were going to do.  But one man did.  It was the man who originally founded our church and led us to believe in Jesus Christ.  It was the man who had written the letter we were now listening to.  His name was Paul, and he was what is called an “Apostle of Jesus Christ”.

This was his second letter to us in less than a year and the first one had sent shockwaves throughout the church.  Had we all not been absolutely convinced of his deep love for us, I am sure the severity and sternness with which he wrote last year would have had a very negative effect.  But, after the leaders had read that first letter our church was changed for the better.  We started doing what he told us to do.  I guess tough love can go a long way to help people get back on track – and we needed it.  Apparently he heard we were following his first letter because now we sat in church that morning listening to his follow up letter.  He was commending us and expressing his love for us again. 

 

One of the biggest changes we made that stands out to me was when we had to follow Paul’s instruction to put a guy out of our fellowship.  I won’t name his name, but, everyone knows him.  He had done something very heinous, I won’t name what he did, but Paul said in his first letter that even the pagans would be shocked over his behavior – which is saying something.  It was hard to do but after he wouldn’t acknowledge what he did the man was forbidden from attending church and we stopped socializing with him altogether.  He had nobody.  We all felt for him, but, we knew we had to do it. 

It was one of those situations in life where you say you wouldn’t want to go through it again but you wouldn’t change a thing because the results were amazing.  The man had a change of heart. He realized what he did and was truly sorry – we could all see it.  But now our problem was we weren’t sure what to do with him.  Do we let him back in or keep him out?  Do we start having him over for get togethers again or do we continue to keep separated from him?  Can we accept his friend on FB yet?  Thankfully, Paul wrote this 2^nd letter to us in Corinth.  In it he tells us what to do with this repentant man.  Let’s listen in as the leaders read this portion of 2 Corinthians 2:5-11….[Read]

What does this have to do with Philemon?  Just like the Corinthians were in a position to forgive, Philemon was also in a position to forgive.  But it wasn’t just Philemon that Paul had in mind.  Just like the whole church at Corinth was instructed in what to do with the man in their midst, Paul speaks to many more people beyond Philemon regarding what to do with the man Onesimus in their midst.  Today we are going to ask and answer the question:  “Why does Paul include all these other people in this issue when it seemed primarily an issue between Philemon, Onesimus and Paul?” 

Well as we meet each person you will see why Paul included them.

 

Apphia

Paul wants to get the right people involved in this issue.  First we see a woman named “Apphia”, whom Paul refers to as “our sister.”  I agree with many commentators that this would have been Philemon’s wife.  For one thing, she wouldn’t have been a church leader or pastor because Paul taught that men were to occupy those roles.  Since she is mentioned, and mentioned immediately after Philemon, it seems logical that she was his wife.  As his wife she had a definite interest in Onesimus returning.  Let me offer 2 important points here

First, in that day the wife had charge of the slaves.  The day to day running of the home was managed by the wife and this included overseeing the household slaves.  Onesimus was not only returning to Philemon, but to Apphia.  Therefore, Apphia’s attitude towards Onesimus would be just as important – if not more important than Philemon’s.  And since Onesimus would probably see her more than he would Philemon, she potentially could make his life miserable.

The second reason Paul would have addressed Apphia is because of her influence on Philemon.  Behind every good man of God is an even better woman of God.  As a general rule, when men are great, usually they have a Proverbs 31 kind of women behind them.  Apphia would have no doubt been a very supportive and helpful partner with her husband in all that he did for the church.  She may have been the one who coaxed Philemon into opening the home to the church, probably also hosting travelling missionaries, and providing support to people in need.  If Apphia was this kind of devoted and godly wife, then Paul may have counted on her being gracious and forgiving, and her influence would be crucial to win her husband’s forgiveness of Onesimus. 

Application:  Wives, do you help your husbands make godly choices or hinder them?  Can you be trusted to approach life decisions from a Biblical, Christ-honoring perspective?  I choose to believe that Apphia was someone Paul saw as a key player in swaying Philemon to doing the godly thing that Paul was asking.

Archippus

Next we see after Apphia Paul includes a man named Archippus.  Paul calls him, “our fellow soldier.”  Some have said that this is Philemon and Apphia’s son, but, I agree with many others who see him as the pastor of the church that met in Philemon’s home.  Archippus was much more likely to be the guy who was teaching God’s word, leading the congregation, caring for the flock and doing the work of pastoral ministry.  Why do I believe that?  Three reasons. 

First of all, his placement here in the introduction suggests it.  The fact that Archippus is specifically mentioned by name means he must have had some important role to play in the life of that church.  If he is the pastor, it makes sense for him to be mentioned after Philemon and his wife as they are the ones primarily offended by Onesimus.  But notice that Archippus is mentioned before the church at large, indicating a leadership position.  Paul’s attention goes from Philemon’s household to the household of God – the Church.  He addresses Philemon as the leader of his own home, and, then Archippus as the leader of God’s church that met in Philemon’s home. 

Secondly, Paul calls him a “fellow soldier”.  Paul only uses the phrase “fellow soldier” to refer to official, recognized church leaders who work hard at their jobs.  Epaphroditus was a missionary sent by the Philippians to help Paul while in prison.  He said of him in Philippians 2:25, “I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier.”  In 2 Timothy 2:3 Paul gives advice to his pastoral pupil Timothy, “Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.”  And I believe when Paul calls Archippus a “fellow soldier” it is because he was the pastor of the church meeting in Philemon’s home.

But while these reasons suggest Archippus is the pastor, it is Colossians 4:17 that I believe makes it certain.  In Colossians 4:17 Archippus is mentioned specifically, and he is mentioned in a way that strongly suggests he was entrusted with some official ministry responsibility and position.  [Turn to Colossians 4:17]  Remember that Paul wrote Colossians at the same time he wrote Philemon (probably Colossians first then Philemon), and, that this whole group of people (Philemon, Onesimus, Apphia, Archippus, etc) are all from the area of Colosse.  At the end of his letter to Colossians, Paul is mentioning many people by name with little notes for them.  In Colossians 4:17 we see the very last person Paul has a message for:  “Tell Archippus:  ‘See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord.’”  Archippus had some official commission in ministry and probably it had to do with the church that met in Philemon’s house.  Now we can see why Paul addresses him as well:  As Philemon’s pastor he would be a key person to influence Philemon in making a decision to please the Lord.    

 

Application:  We need to surround ourselves with the right people if we want to live for Christ.  If we want to be godly, righteous, and wise, then those are the kinds of people we need to have in our lives.  Proverbs 13:20 says, “Those who walk with the wise grow wise” and 1 Cor. 15:33 says “Bad company corrupts good character.”  Paul wanted to surround Philemon with everyone who would help him do the right thing in forgiving Onesimus.  Paul knew that a godly wife, a godly pastor and a godly church can be a tremendous help in helping someone make godly choices.  So here’s our challenge:  Do we listen to the godly people in our life?  Do we have godly people in our life?  Are the people who are most influential to us the godliest people we know?  Are we a godly church that creates an environment for people to grow in godliness?

The Church at Philemon’s House

Lastly, in verse 2 Paul addresses the whole church that was meeting in Philemon’s home, again notice verse 2, “and to the church that meets in your home.”  So this letter is not just for Philemon, but for the whole church that gathered under his roof.  Paul wanted the whole church to be informed about the amazing events in Onesimus’ life after he ran away because they have a role to play when he returns as well.

 

First of all Paul simply wanted them to understand they were going to have a new member in their congregation.  Therefore Paul wanted the whole church to understand how to treat Onesimus. 

Secondly, Paul wanted the church to follow Philemon’s example of accepting Onesimus as a brother and forgiving him.  Philemon was a respected man and many would follow his lead in matters with Onesimus.  This highlights for us a very important application:  we need to be Conscious of how our decisions affect other Christians.  Philemon’s decision about how he would treat Onesimus was going to set an example for everyone else:  his wife, the other Christians, the other slaves, and other slave masters.  He was center stage with an opportunity to teach others about God’s grace and forgiveness by his own example.  Many would use his example as a reference for how to act in their own life.  As Christians we don’t live for ourselves and ourselves only.  With wisdom, balance, and love we take into consideration how we will affect others with our choices. 

Thirdly, the church would provide some indirect pressure on Philemon to go easy on him.  Paul knows human nature:  we are more likely to do what’s right when we are doing it in front of others.  Whether anyone in the church actually said anything to him, the fact that they were watching him would be pressure enough.

But there is a fourth reason the whole church was involved.  There is to be unity in the act of forgiveness.  When the offended person forgives the offender, the rest of the church should forgive too.  If Philemon forgives Onesimus the NT teaches that the rest of the church is to forgive.  Listen to some passages that present this principle.  Back in 2 Corinthians 2:10 Paul said “If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him.”  Paul’s decision to forgive an offender was based on whether or not  the church had forgiven him.  In other words, Paul honored the church’s authority by standing with them:  if they had forgiven then he also forgave.  If they did not forgive then he did not forgive. 

            This is incredible.  But what is more incredible is that Paul was mirroring what Jesus said.  In Matthew 18 we see the instructions Jesus gives the steps for carrying out church discipline with an unrepentant member.  At the very end the Lord says to involve the whole church by informing them of the member’s sin and then having them pursue that member to persuade him to repent.  In verse 17 Jesus said, “If he does not listen to the church then treat him like you would a pagan or tax collector”.  Translation:  “Consider him unclean and separate yourselves from him and have absolutely nothing to do with him.” 

Now, if you think that is intense, listen to the very next words in verse 18, “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”  Those words are directly related to what Jesus just said in the previous verse about church discipline.  This means that when the Church follows God’s word in church discipline, and officially cuts a member off from all fellowship, the church has made a binding decision.  Here’s where it gets intense:  Jesus says that what is bound on earth by the Church will be bound in heaven.  Apparently God will honor the decision of the Church when the Church follows His word and if the Church cuts off fellowship on earth than heaven cuts off fellowship as well.  But the opposite is true too, if the Church forgives someone and receives them back into fellowship then heaven honors that decision as well.  Jesus made very similar statements in John 20:23, “If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven.  If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” 

            What does all this mean?  It means that there is unity in forgiveness.  Just like heaven will honor the Church’s decision to forgive, and just like Paul will honor the Corinthian church’s decision to forgive, the church was supposed to honor Philemon’s decision to forgive Onesimus. 

Would Philemon forgive him?  Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Could  Philemon forgive Onesimus just like God had forgiven him?  One of the dangers of the Christian life is to withhold from others what God has freely given us.  Sometimes in the face of forgiveness we forget that we have been forgiven much.  When we lose sight of our own debt we lose the ability to cancel the debt of others.  We start to see all the faults of others and forget all about our own.  

Illustration:  One of the joys we are finding in using the Family Worship plans in our home is to listen to our children learn great songs.  To hear their little voices singing lifts you right up.  But there is nothing better for your ears when they spontaneously start singing throughout the day.  The song that Reese requests a lot is Amazing Grace.  And as little ones start to learn the songs its humorous to hear them get certain words wrong.  For instance, when she first learned the song she would say, “Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wrench like me.”  She’s got it right these days but the other day while playing on the floor she sang what I think is the Pharisee version, “Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like you”.  I think someone’s wife looked up from her book and said, “I think she’s singing to you”. 

            Remember our applications today:  1) Wives, be a godly influence in your husband’s decisions, 2) Surround yourself with godly people to help you make godly decisions, and 3) we need to be willing to forgive.