Ephesians 6:4, Fathers, Train Them

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, Train Them

Introduction

God said to Adam and Eve in Genesis 1:28 “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth…”  The blessing involved God giving Adam and Eve children.  Psalm 127:3-5a says, “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”  Children are a blessing to us from the Lord.  God’s purpose is that we are a blessing to our children. 

 

Family is Divine

Parenting is serious business to the Lord.  Think about it, family is the primary context in which our God relates.  As you read Scripture it’s as if God wants you to see a family when you think of Him.  We see it first within our Triune God:  There is the Father and there is the Son. 

 

When we are saved, Ephesians 1:5 says “we are adopted as His sons”.  Romans 8:15-16 speaks of our being God’s children, “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but, you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by Him we cry ‘Abba, Father.’  The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, we are heirs…” 

 

Paul emphasizes God’s Fatherhood in Ephesians 3:14-15, “For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.”  He does it again in Ephesians 4:6 when He says there is “one God and Father of all” believers.  The great privilege we have is that we can call God our Father and we can come Him as our Father through Jesus Christ (John 14:6; Eph. 3:12). 

 

Again the most relevant way for us to relate to one another is as brothers and sisters. 

 

Parenting is a Cosmic Privilege

Think about this brothers and sisters – this is our privilege among all the creatures God has made.  While according to Hebrews 2:7 we as humans are lower than the angels, we are given a privilege they have not been given.  Angels cannot have families.  They do not marry each other, and, they cannot have children.  They have no ancestors, and, they have no descendants.  So when God said to the first humans to go and increase in number the angels must have looked on with great intrigue.  They do not know what it is for two angels to be united in marriage like we do.  They do not have the ability to add to their number.  Only God could do that for them.  They don’t know what it is like to be able to produce another one of themselves. 

 

But, God enabled us, this little race of humans to multiply, and add another one of ourselves to the world.  God has given us this procreative ability and experience that He has not given to angels, that we might relate to Him in a way angels cannot.  Sure, like us they can call Him Father because He created them, but, no angel has anyone to call him father.  I have two people that call me father.  Angels don’t know the immense joy of this ability we have, this ability to create someone like ourselves.  We can bring another human being into the world.  Think about this brothers and sisters, are we not blessed by God in being able to know what He knows?  What does He know that He lets us know?  What do we know that the angels don’t?  God lets us know what it’s like to have children, to be a parent. 

 

I want us to see how unique we are among God’s creation.  Let us not ever underestimate how cosmically privileged we are to be able to have children.  Let us not take our role as parents in any way lightly.  As God blesses us with children, let us then become a blessing to our children.  As He gives us the joy of becoming fathers, let us be fathers like Him. 

 

What’s at Stake?

            What’s at stake?  Let me give you several reasons that make us take our task seriously as parents.

 

            First, your joy as a father is at stake.  Proverbs 10:1 says, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.”  When we raise children we are investing in our own joy - or grief - when they are older.  There is a billboard for a local school off of 31 as you go north that says, “You only get one chance to raise them.”  It is very true, and it should give us pause to consider how are we approaching this task of parenting.  What are we aiming for?  One thing is our own joy.  Third John verse 4 says, “I have no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth.”  Nothing brings a parent greater joy than watching their children walking with the Lord.  Proverbs 17:21 says, “To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.”  Proverbs 19:13, “A foolish son is his father’s ruin.”  I can go on.  Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.”  The stakes are high.  Our joy in their adult years is at stake. 

 

            Secondly, the next generation is at stake.  Each generation has a responsibility to the next generation.  Psalm 145:3-4 says this:  “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.  One generation will commend your works to another.”  Deuteronomy 6:6-7a, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children…”  Each generation has a responsibility to teach and declare the wondrous things of God to the next generation.  The younger generations need to hear it. 

 

            Thirdly, our children’s well-being is at stake.  If we raise them in such a way that they are fools, or worldly, or, unrighteous, or indifferent to God or even spiteful of God they will suffer.  What do they see in us that will affect their marriages?  What kinds of husbands and wives will this next generation be because of us?  How many adults today suffer still for the wounds of their childhood?  Truly their well-being is at stake. 

 

            Fourthly, what is at stake in the way we raise our children is God’s glory.  First Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  We should glorify God in our lives, and pass on to them a love for God’s glory.  They should be able to see in us and hear from us how to live a life that glorifies God.  How great it is that God is glorified in the younger generation because of the older. 

 

***So, what does Ephesians 6:4 say to us when it comes to raising children?

 

#1:  Fathers, Be Serious about Scripture

            First of all, I would say:  Fathers, Be Serious about Scripture.  Notice the first word in verse 4, “Fathers…”  Paul calls the attention of fathers to his next words.  I believe that Paul’s words certainly apply to mothers here, but, he places the emphasis on fathers.  They are the heads of their homes.  They are the Pastors of their families.  The responsibility is on their shoulders.  So, Paul wants fathers to listen up to what he is about to say. 

 

Here we have a man of God speaking to other men the words of God regarding fathering.  I believe, men, that we are measured by our response to his words.  Paul said in Ephesians 4:1 to “live worthy of our calling”, which involves the way we father our children.  Will we take up the call and take seriously the words of God regarding our responsibilities as fathers?  Fathers, we need to listen to Scripture when it comes to raising our children. 

 

            I think of some fathers in Scripture who were serious about God with their kids.  In Genesis 18:19 it said, “For I have chosen Abraham, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just…”  Job was another great father.  In Job 1:5 it says that Job offered sacrifices to God early in the morning on behalf of his children in case they had sinned.  Job took seriously his own relationship with God, and, his children’s relationship with God. 

 

David was a great example of a father who took God’s words seriously when it came to parenting.  Solomon says of his father in Proverbs 4, “When I was a boy in my father’s house…he taught me and said, ‘Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.’”  Solomon credited his father with imparting much wisdom to him as a child.  If you go through Proverbs you will find that the whole book is written in the context of a father imparting wisdom to his son.  Turn there with me

 

All these fathers had one thing in common:  they cared to be fathers the way God wanted them to be.  Fathers, let us give our ears to the Bible’s instruction on how we ought to raise our children.