Hi Church Family,
I thought it would be good to give you a better idea of what happened and where I'm at health-wise ..........
.....Here's a fun story about how faithful the Lord is - even when I don't deserve it. About Wednesday last week they began to tell me in the hospital that I'd be getting out of there on Thursday. Thursday morning came, I got cleaned up, had breakfast for the first time all week, packed my bag and took off that ridiculous gown. I was ready to go. Then some student doctor I'd never met before came in and told me I wasn't leaving that day because my INR levels weren't over 2. I was mildly annoyed with her - actually I was crushed. (I thought about breaking the window and rappelling like an Army Ranger down the side of the building to escape!)
The real problem, which I think she was unaware of, was that my insurance wasn't going to pay for the Lovenox, which is expensive (the out of pocket expense would cost me my firstborn - which I considered). After choosing to keep Evan, I became frustrated that I wouldn't get out that day. My options were to stay in the hospital until my INR reached 2, or, I could go home and pay for the Lovenox myself, at which point I'd have to sell Evan to pay for it.
Did I pause and pray? No. Did I stop and remind myself that the Lord has His plan? No. Was I acting like a first-rate faithless dummy? Yes.
Well a couple hours later a social worker comes in and she says she has good news. She tells me I'm getting out of here today because she worked out the payment for the Lovenox. It turns out her husband used to be a pastor and she likes to help ministers whenever she can. A long story short, she went to her boss and explained the situation and the result is that the hospital decides they will pay for the Lovenox shots and send me home. (We took Evan off Craig's List right away). I'm 5'10" but I felt 2 inches tall when she told me that. My insurance wasn't paying for it. The manufacturer wasn't going to discount it. I wanted to keep Evan. The Lord worked the situation out in my favor when I'm ashamed to say I was so frustrated I didn't even turn to Him the whole time.
How often do we lose sight of God's sovereignty and faithfulness? How often to we stew in our frustration when things aren't going according to our plan? I missed the full joy of what the Lord did because I didn't trust Him in a matter even as small as this. I feel like I missed out on giving God proper glory since I didn't actively trust Him the whole time before He solved the problem. Lesson? Trust Him even when you don't see an answer or a way. Embrace the times when you know the situation is beyond your control by remembering that He is always at work.
Here's one more application. I experienced what it was like to have someone buy something for me that I couldn't afford. When the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross, He paid the price that I could never have afforded. I didn't have enough. Just like I was too "poor" to afford the medicine, I was too poor to afford my salvation. And just like I needed someone to generously buy for me the medicine I needed, Jesus Christ generously bought my salvation with His blood. There's no clots in His blood. It flows free and has the power to wash away your sins when you trust in Him.
In His Grace, Pastor
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